today was i dunno. was really depressed in sch... cried for like 4 periods... not the whole way of cos but yah. thanks marcus for being a fren :) thanks for the gd advice and the listening ear and the shoulder to cry on... and also for praying with me! love ya man :) the wierdest thing is i dun even noe y i cried and y i was so sad. its like i really dont... i just broke down or soemthing... marcus said maybe its cos i always like just ignore my problems when they make me sad and just push them aside until i think im over it when actually im not... so like today all the hurts and stuff just surfaced at one go. maybe. but anyway after the rain the sun comes up rite :) yupps. im happy again haha.

thanks zy too and ill pray for ur arm ok! dun be sad. it will heal real soon... just take care of urself!!

i think i really need faith and patience. they are like my weakest pts... i expect myself to change magically into the person i want to be but i know in my mind tt its not going to happen like tt but yet in my heart i think it does... and when it doesnt my heart breaks i guess... dunno lah. just need lots of prayer at the moment... i felt really calmed after marcus prayed with me today... thank goodness for him... hes my closest christian fren in sch and like i guess tts y i turn to him for this kinda advice tho like i dun really liek to tell him stuff sometimes...

i just finsihed this book called the keys to the kingdom by aj cronin... and its abt this priest and his life thru his childhood to when hes old... and i dunno... even tho its fiction rite i feel really inspired by the priest, father francis. he really lived a life tt i want to live and tho he was a missionary and stuff he din get the recognition and instead was like colded and condescended and he wasnt like perfect or wad... he had a really sharp tounge and was quick to anger but he still really tried his best for the Lord and like thru his life his experiences shaped him and grew him into a true man of God. i really want to be like dat too... and like when the bishop was scolding him and stuff i felt so upset for him i started tearing haha... spas. but really. its a very good book. i want to be someone hu at the end of the day can truly say tt i have tried my best for the Lord, tt i have grown into what He wants me to be and tt i have really put my complete and absolute trust in Him... but sadly im super far off the mark... but i will try harder!!! :) yupps.im back to my optimistic self again heh.

oh man havign a funny conversation with siva now haha... everytimes i tok to siva i always feel liek some little kid being chastised haha... he was like telling me tt i shld vote and stuff... den i was flattering him like mad! haha... oh man hes qt a funny guy :p and the presidential nominees really suck ok haha... it was so boring the stupid q n a crap today... just wanted to sleep or something. they shld have let us throw stuff at them. they would have died under the barrage hhaha... oh no! being mean :( ok but anyway this is gettgn banal haha... im so glad my parents arent going to meet my teacher :s i would have died!!!!